My Dearest Reader,
I hope you are having a fine week wherever you may be. I hope it's filled with some stillness & quiet reflections of the beauty all around you.
It's 5 a.m. on a Sunday morning as I sit up before the world has woken and ponder what avenue to take next and the investments of one's heart. I just spent four months building a blog I now want nothing to do with. Four months of content creation, design and development, and laborious hours that feel like it's all going out the window. And listen, I know four months on the spectrum of things is no time at all. But the real question is, how many times have I done this? To that I say, gosh, please don't ask.
When will I finally learn my lesson, I think to myself, to follow my heart?
It seems something is always pulling me away from GTD Designs, an excuse of 'I have to do this before I can start that.' Is it fear of failure? Im beginning to think and am afraid to say, admittedly, perhaps so.
When I close my eyes and listen, it's as if I can hear the whispers of the universe calling me in, calling me home back to my true creative pursuits—my art—where the data analysis of digital marketing and logic-driven decisions don't exist. In other words, my unbarricaded world where I find the most peace doing whatever I want, whenever. Though I'm sure we can all relate to that sentiment a bit.
The fear, however, is strong, and I find myself being obedient to it.
If I were to die tomorrow (exaggerated expression. I know…moving on), I would want to be working on my masterpiece. And this latest blog, Avenue to Earn, is simply not my masterpiece. Queue the dramatic irony (and yes, **eye roll**), it has become the avenue to nowhere in the shadows of my mind.
Now, it does embody core values I wholeheartedly believe in. Yet, I knew in my heart amidst its creation that it was never truly aligned with what I craved to do the most.
How did I get here? Well, you could say I was led here by my following of fear—agendas and checklist made priority over my calling. In essence, I stopped listening to what my highest self was saying. I stopped tuning in.
And yet, I do still believe this blog has value, and the divergence of the last four months was meant to be for my greater good.
Moving forward with a light heart, I am trying to see the positives of this project.
As we know, there are always polarities—opportunities where struggle and failure exist.
AVE does have the potential to be flipped and resold, and on the other hand, the longer I hold onto it, the greater its value will grow.
It's also a keen website to showcase as an example blog and bring students behind the scenes to see its operations.
And if you allow me to nerd out for a second, I have to say the site's architectural structure is near perfection.
- The blogging permalink structure is clean & uniquely setup to cater to a vast array of content
- The Webflow CMS was built like well oiled automated machine
- The code is neat
- The branding is friendly & welcoming
- The site speed is optimal
- And overall, the SEO health score is in the 90's (for comparison, GTD Designs is at a 43 right now and sinking…eek...let's not talk about that one ;-p)
I can even imagine the site having the potential to operate as a not-for-profit in the tech-based sector—Avenue to Earn focused soly on offering free resources and guides to teach people how to break into online business with the skillsets, tools and programs needed to succeed.
Currently, its primary method for generating revenue is through selling an MRR course focused in digital marketing. The course itself is incredibly detailed and breakdowns step-by-step how to sell digital products and effectively market on social media platforms. And at the time of the initial conception of this blog, my thought was that this would be a great course to offer through AVE as it's complimentary to the foundation and primary focus of the blog—being in digital marketing and online business.
There are also additional opportunities for this blog to generate revenue through Google Adsense, affiliate marketing, and sponsored blog posts.
But, as hard as it is for me to say this, the truth of the matter is, it just does not have my whole heart. My soul is part there but mostly it is craving a deeper sense of resonance through sharing my more personal voice here, with GTD Designs.
And gosh, is she an ever-so-patient young lady, just waiting for me to nurture her into becoming all the things I spur up in my wild and untamed imagination.
I do genuinely love digital marketing and Webflow web design & development, and I am passionate about having the opportunity to teach these skillsets to others.
However, GTD Designs is not meant just to be a place to learn about the latest technical skills needed to thrive in the online labyrinth. It's intended to be a beacon for my lovely introverted, sensitive (and often overlooked) ladies desiring to change the way they do business into a more soft and heartfelt way that resonates with their native being—and hopefully then transcending outward into helping their local communities, offering their highest form of creative service.
Ultimately, it's about a feeling and cultivating oneself into the person one already is, deep down beneath the social conditioning and outside opinions of what others have made them think they are to be.
"Finding yourself" is not really how it works. You aren't a ten-dollar bill in last winter's coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under the cultural conditioning, other people's opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. "Finding yourself" is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you." ~ Emily McDowell
My passionate endeavor and service to others is this pursuit of showing women how to harness the power of feminine energy in business and reclaim their gentle, nurturing self—refined and reposeful.
Embracing slow business models and exemplifying a dedication to the mastery of one's creative craft is where I desire most to be.
This is where I always find myself coming back to.
This is where I feel called to share my voice with greater vergence.
And it may be time to start listening....
But duty calls, and settlements must be made.
There is still much to do with Avenue to Earn, regardless of what route I decide to take (selling vs. holding), and if you know me, you know I'm not one to back down that easily—in other words, the site's not going down just yet. Though if there's anything I've learned in life, it's that sometimes letting go is the best decision for your well-being, despite the countless hours spent on such an affair.
That said, I do know GTD Designs needs me to show up more. It's not as if I'm doing nothing in this department; it just has not had as much of my focus as I would like.
As for the investments of one's heart, I'm slowly beginning to see with greater clarity, where that needs to be. For as scary as the next chapter may seem, it's near time to turn the page.
With that, my loves, I am now off to prep some dinner because while I started writing this blog at 5 a.m., I could not possibly muddle all the words out then, and it's now the afternoon.
On the menu: nothing fancy, just good food
Black beans & brown rice with a Roma tomato, basil, and red onion medley tossed with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and a pinch or two of salt. Topped off with avocado & pickled red onions.
Adopted from my mom & generously approved by my dad
Recipe:
- 1/2 Cup Brown Basmati Rice (or whichever you prefer!)
- 1 Can Black Beans (organic, no-salt added)
- 1 Roma Tomato
- 1/4 Red Onion
- Handful of Fresh Basil
- Spices: Salt + Pepper, Cumin, Garlic Powder, 3 Bay Leaves
- Olive Oil + Balsamic Vinaigrette
Directions:
Note: I never measure, so bare with me and use your good senses. ;-P
- Thoroughly rinse brown rice & follow packed instructions
- Rinse and drain the black beans
- Add 2 tablespoons water to small pot and add the black beans
- Drizzile about 1 tablespoon olive oil over the black beans
- Add in approx. 1/4 teaspoon cumin, garlic power & black pepper
- Add a pinch or two of salt and 3 bay leaves
- Gently mix and place on low heat while the rice is cooking
- Chop and dice 1 Roma tomato, 1/4 red onion and handful of fresh basil
- Drizzle about 1/2 - 1 Tablespoon olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette
- Sprinkle about 2 pinches of salt and gently fold the medley together
- Place in refrigerator until rice and beans are ready
Optional: Top with advocado and pickled red onions. It's also a great dish to serve with a side of arugula salad or a simple pan-fried chicken for extra protein.
Give the medley a try, and perhaps ponder with me—where does your heart feel called to go next?
All my best.
